Yesterday was my first official "recharge" day and I absolutely LOVED it. I kept my phone in 'Do Not Disturb' mode and left it on my bedside for majority of the day while I sat with my kids and watched Youtube videos of their favourite shows, played a few games, had lunch, visited with family and then watched the sunset while strolling on the beach.
I can't tell you the last time I have laughed and smiled so much. To be around my family without the typical drama we each bring to the table was amazing. It felt just like it did when I was younger, before all the heartache and pain took over. Between my father, Dayeus, the kids and my step family, there was so much love there. The bonds I saw forming, the lessons we were each taught and the promises we each made to becoming better people, really brought me down to earth again.
I miss the feel of family. The feeling of unity and the amount of love that is there. Sometimes we forget about what we have while we're searching for what we don't. I may not have my life together and I may be struggling financially at times but there are things that money cannot buy and I was lucky enough to be reminded of all of those things yesterday.
Unplugging for a day or two isn't a bad thing. It doesn't mean I'm running away from anything. It means that I value me first. I value my mental and emotional health above all because I can't be at my best if I'm not able to think clearly or am so full of bound up emotions. I've made some serious mistakes lately and many of them I won't be able to undo but I have learned from them. I have grown from them.
Today is a new day and I've decided to 'let go and let God' as they say. What happens, happens. What will be, will be. There is no sense of stressing myself out over situations I can't control. I'm here for the long haul, kids. I want to succeed now more than I want to breathe and I know that if I just remain focused, calm and patient, I will be rewarded in a manner that is right for me.
Whatever that may be.